Dating Advice

My friend was asked by his younger cousin for advice on dating women. His response was so on the money that I have to share (with his permission of course). This advice is perfect whether you’re new to the dating scene or been around the block (because as other women in their late twenties will also tell you, you can’t judge a guy’s dating ability by his age).

Read and share his advice below. And sorry girls, this advice giver is taken – recently engaged to my best friend. He obviously knows what he’s doing!

Here are a few quick tips:

1.) If you want to ask a girl out make sure you have a plan.  The less work they have to do up front the more likely they will say yes.  A well thought out plan will be appreciated.
2.)  If you are really into a girl try not to be overly available or clingy.  What I mean by that is make sure you are doing interesting stuff without her as well.
3.)  Don’t play games (example: act like you don’t care when you do).  It will work with some girls but overall it’s not a strategy the works well long term.
4.)  Dating is a numbers game.  The more you date the more likely you will find the person you are looking for.
5.)  Be persistent if you like someone.  However, if you try to contact someone and they are not returning your calls I would suggest not pursuing it further.
6.)  Be confident and proud of who you are.
M

 

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Overheard in … everywhere

From an “Overheard in DC” blog:

A guy and a girl are standing in line to order coffee.

Girl: “So what do you do?”
Guy: “I work on the Hill.”
Girl: (pause) “Oh sorry, I didn’t mean what do you do for money. I meant what do you do to make the world better?”

I am a fan of this one in particular.  Because in Washington, DC, especially, and probably like many other places, but in DC especially people just wanna know what you “do”, or rather, want to let you know that they are super important because they work for the federal government.  So I love the girl’s response and actual interest in what someone else really does do.

We’ll write another blog in a month or two …

P

Reading on the New York Subway

Again I am posting about something else I found online, but the internet is just so full of fun stuff. This photography project Underground New York Public Library encompasses 4 of my favorite things:

  • Reading
  • New York subway
  • Photography
  • Reading on the subway

This project is pretty awesome and touches on so many topics, while somehow still managing to be straightforward and simple. At first sight it is a tumblr of various photographs of people reading on the New York subway, with the caption naming the book and author. But go a little deeper and it’s much more than that. It’s street photography and all the questionable ethics that go along with it*, it’s people we see everyday, it’s people learning, it’s getting lost in a good book, it’s connecting with strangers, it’s capturing the various walks of life that make up NY, it’s introducing us to new books and authors, it makes NY feel a little smaller, it brings up the book vs e-reader dilemma, it’s relatable, it’s hopeful (maybe because it seems less people are reading these days, and these images capture all ages, genders, ethnicities reading), it’s “like meditating” (I agree with this, because looking at the photos I’m reminded of how soothing it is to get lost in a book), it’s friendly, it’s inspiring, it’s a calm moment among the chaos of NY, and the photographs themselves are full of talent.

The subway seems like an obvious and perfect choice for this project in New York. I’m sure the same could be done in parks or cafes, but the subway is just so New York. Reading is obviously a big part of the subway for a lot of people, including myself – it’s where I get most of my reading done because it provides time, a familiar atmosphere, is generally pretty quiet, and maybe the movement of the train is soothing. I’ve actually gotten on the wrong train when reading on the platform, and have almost missed my stop because I was so engrossed in a book. I’m sure I’m not the only one..

*I struggle with this and often miss out on photo opportunities due to feeling like an intruder on someone’s life. P, a talented and curious photographer who likes to capture people on the streets, told me he bought a portable printer so that when he took a photo of a stranger he could give them a copy right then and there. I thought this was a great idea, as it breaks down barriers and makes the subject feel special.

M

Just Here’s Fine

As noted in a previous post, I enjoy chatting with cab drivers, on the rare occasion that I do take a cab. Sometimes I want a quiet ride, and sometimes they want a quiet ride, but it’s nice to at least test the waters with small talk and see where it will go. People are interesting and you may learn something, hear a great story, get some (unsolicited) advice, or a tip about the city. Plus it’s just friendly to talk to someone you’re sitting in a car with.

So, it’s fair to say I really like this project I recently stumbled upon, Just Here’s Fine: a look at the lives of London’s cab drivers. The artist, Victoria Hannan, shares a photo and brief bio of cab drivers from around London. Each driver is completely different, has a different reason for choosing this job, has their own routine and habits, has their own crazy stories.. things you would never know by looking at all drivers as the same person. Victoria breaks each interviewee down into their own person.

Everyone has a story and a life you don’t see, especially if they are in a profession where only formalities are exchanged: “I’m going to Penn Station, thanks”, “Can I please have a medium iced coffee with skim milk?”, “Do you take credit?”, “No, there will be nothing else, thanks for your help.”, “We’ll take the check.” Most of these interactions are strictly business with no room for anything else, which is fine, but it’s nice now and then to get to know people as, and make them feel like, more than just the person who hands you your morning bagel or drives you from point A to point B. You never know what you will get out of it, even a “hello, how are you, beautiful day” and a simple “thank you” will probably brighten their day as well as yours, and maybe it will be passed on to the next person. Cab rides seem to provide opportunities for a more extensive conversation, which is maybe why the artist chose cab drivers as her subject for this project.

If you’ve ever visited a Trader Joe’s (if you haven’t you’re really missing out) you know well how the interactions at the checkout lines go. The cashiers are all so freakin friendly and chatty. It’s obviously a prerequisite to be able to start a conversation with a stranger. They offer more than just a “Hi.” I’ve been asked how my day is going, what I have planned, and have found myself joking around with the cashier. It makes some people uncomfortable, admittedly including myself at times, because we unfortunately live in a society where not talking to people we don’t know, even if they are helping us or sharing an experience with us, is normal, but I love that Trader Joe’s does this. I feel like they’re breaking people’s guards down one perfectly packed recyclable bag at a time. One time the cashier saw I had the makings for “guaco”, ie guacamole, in my basket but was missing cilantro, and offered to go get it for me because he knew exactly where it was and “you can’t have guacamole without cilantro!” He left me at the register with a line forming and went all the way to the other side of the store to get it so that my guacamole wasn’t missing cilantro. He wasn’t even going to get to eat the guacamole! It’s these little gestures and interactions that restore faith in humanity and makes us feel connected, which is why I’m really enjoying Just Here’s Fine.

“I am the laziest ambitious person I know.”

So opines Tom Kreider in his The “Busy” Trap contribution to the NY Times.  It’s something that I have become very aware of and do what I can to not feel pressure to always be doing something.  And to feeling that doing nothing is actually something, and many times a more beneficial something that another something I could be doing.  If you know what I mean.

I have had the fortune to have experienced an extended amount of time among another culture that does not take work so seriously as Americans, especially us Northeast corridor folk.  As a matter of fact, I am being forced not to work as a result of the somewhat destructive storms that rolled through the area Friday evening.  Lots of power outages, downed trees and power lines, lack of clean water, and, unfortunately, a few casualties as a result of those storms.  The storms actually having a name – derecho – associated with the culture that I was about to name: the Spanish.  An almost nationally mandatory midday siesta, enjoyment of one another’s company over a few beers and tapas or a coffee, walking most places, separate food stores for each items bread, meats, pastries, etc.  I know I know, they are in a financial crisis much worse than what we have seen over here, and you may be thinking that they asked for it with the lifestyle they lead.  But that’s for another day.  The Spanish generally do what they can to not get stressed out over having too much to do, because they know how to generally keep themselves in check, and are aware of when they need to slow things down, and take more time to go for an evening walk before dinner or meet with friends on a Sunday afternoon to savor the last few hours before Monday’s mid-morning before-work coffee with other friends.  And taking a look at South American culture, which, as you know, was and is greatly influenced by the Spanish, they’re pace of life is even slower.

And it’s Friday and the above was written a few days ago and so I figure I better get this out.  Hope all had a nice, safe holiday (my new neighborhood is a fan of launch-it-yourself fireworks so I spent a lot of time dodging them) and stay cool this weekend … 105F forecast for tomorrow here in DC!

P

Positive Thinking

I came across this article the other day and it has been on my mind all week. It’s meant to help you improve a bad day, but I think it should be a guideline for life in general. It’s short, to the point, and so true.

#4 made me laugh out loud – it really puts things in perspective! And #7 is along the lines of how a good friend is trying to live her life – imagine life how you want it and it’s more likely to happen than if you’re thinking negatively.

Positive Thinking: 7 Easy Ways to Improve a Bad Day

1. Remember that the past does not equal the future.

There is no such thing as a “run of bad luck.” The reason people believe such nonsense is that the human brain creates patterns out of random events and remembers the events that fit the pattern.

2. Refuse to make self-fulfilling prophesies. 

If you believe the rest of your day will be as challenging as what’s already happened, then rest assured: You’ll end up doing something (or saying) something that will make sure that your prediction comes true.

3. Get a sense of proportion.

Think about the big picture: Unless something life-changing has happened (like the death of a loved one), chances are that in two weeks, you’ll have forgotten completely about whatever it was that has your shorts in a twist today.

Continue Reading… 

M

Travel, A Growing Experience

I recently discussed this with a friend who just returned from 6 months of travelling through India, and who I met while we were both living in Argentina. Throughout our own travels we have each realized what an amazing growing experience traveling is, whether you are looking for it to be that or not. No matter where you travel to and for how long, you will find yourself in unfamiliar territory and be forced to adjust. Add a foreign language and culture to the mix and you’re in for a real treat. When taken out of your comfort zone, you have no option but to just figure it out! On top of that, you return home with a new perspective on your surroundings, your belongings, your day to day experiences, and life in general.

Lost? In your own city, you’ll probably pull up Google Maps on your phone. In another country odds of having a smartphone on you are slim so you have to learn to be comfortable asking for directions, even if it means talking to strangers, speaking in a different language, in streets you aren’t familiar with. Another learning experience that can come out of being lost is NOT asking for directions, and instead see where you end up by wandering. You may stumble upon a cafe or market you wouldn’t have otherwise. If anything you get to see more of the area.

Don’t speak the language? You can get pretty creative when communicating without a mutual language. Hand gestures, drawings.. it’s amazing to see this creativity prove to be successful in getting your message across. And you’re bound to pick up a few words of the language along the way.

Flight delayed, train cancelled, no rooms left in the hostel, passport stolen? Gotta figure it out somehow. It may not be pleasant at the time but you will certainly look back on it as a learning experience, maybe even with a laugh, and will feel a little more confident next time it happens (because it will).

Returning home you will have more appreciation and respect for other cultures, you won’t be nervous to ask for directions, dealing with customer service will seem like a cinch because it’s in your own language, you’ll learn, and prefer, to live with less, you’ll walk more, you’ll be more patient with tourists because you’ve been there, you’ll have learned more about yourself in many ways, you’ll be more appreciative of the comforts of home, and you’ll be more comfortable meeting new people and talking to strangers.

There are a million and one reasons why I love traveling, but the growing and learning experience is a big one, and well worth it.

Do you have any growing experiences from your travels?

M

PS – These experiences can also occur while exploring cities throughout your own country, like P did with the frog legs restaurant in DC. It’s a matter of stepping out of your comfort zone.

Things That Made Me Smile Recently

A day at the beach

This photo and story of Obama

Booking a trip to Charleston, SC

Cake made out of cheese. Genius.

Eating empanadas

Walking Race for the Cure in support of breast cancer research

Spending time in DC with good friends and beautiful weather herehere, and here

These cute and funny fake tattoos

M

Things that made me smile this past week

Sitting outside with beers, Jenga, and $1 Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup S’mores with good friends at a beer garden in Philly

Celebrating Mother’s Day with my family

Weekly Zumba class

Grocery shopping at Trader Joe’s

Making beer bread for potluck night with my neighbors

This website and this website, make me laugh everyday

Hearing this song for the first time in awhile, which brought back memories of Buenos Aires

Baby elephant at the beach, so cute

And things I’m looking forward to this weekend…

Cheering my friends on in the Brooklyn Half Marathon

Googa Mooga Festival in Prospect Park

More spring weather

M

NYC is:

ruby red slipper glitter sunglasses and wizard-of-oz emerald green eye glitter // surfboards on the subway platform in 40 degree weather // fresh baked float-in-the-air-aroma-goodness granola at the bookstore // black during rush hour // rude // vibrant and colorful // green spaces // cafes and coffee // fashion implosion // the world culturally compartmentalized // love-hate // una vasca morenaoscuracasinegra hablando canstellano // pink polka dot shoes // tourists // mismatched cabinet knobs // ipad photography in a pedicab down avenue of the americas in the afternoon while waiting for a friend // las vidas de la gente // I LOVE YOU YOUR SHOES SMELL on red chuck allstar sidewalls // acceptance // the unseen // trying too hard // a visit with friends // conversation // inspiration // experimentation // on display // a smorgasbord // home // authentic // an old man on the street chuckling while warning he is about to shoot a little green man at you // 24 hours // the stories people tell